Jay and Silent Bob Smoke Europe
by Moon Tuxedo Mask
Summary: When Jay and Silent Bob go to Europe their ganja could get them killed! Rated R for language, and Jay's antics.
1. naughty children

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Jay and Silent Bob.  
Jay: Dude that sucks.  
Bob: (Nods his head)  
Author: Do you guys even know what that means?  
(Jay and Bob look at each other)  
Bob: (Shrugs) Jay: So what if we don't know what it means? It still sucks. Life sucks.  
Awww shit Bob, I'm talking like one of those Goths. Aren't those freaks  
gay?  
Bob: (Nods his head)  
Author: ...and without further ado, Jay in Silent Bob Smoke Europe.  
  
JAY AND SILENT BOB SMOKE EUROPE  
  
(Fade in on Jay and Silent Bob outside the Stop and Go grocery store)  
  
Jay: Damn Bob, we ain't getting any business.  
Bob: (Lights a cigarette and nods)  
(Jay points across the street)  
Jay: Hey Bob, look, a little customer.  
(Jay and Silent Bob walk up to a nine year old kid)  
Jay: Hey kid, how much cash you got on you? Kid: Don't fuck with me mister! If you jump me I'll kick your ass; I'm a  
brown belt in karate!  
Jay: Hell no man, I was just curious.  
Kid: (gets in karate stance) Twelve bucks. Jay: Okay, I'll give you this bag for ten bucks. (Holds up a bag of weed)  
Kid: Your trying to sell me drugs!?!  
Jay: (to Bob) Man, what's up with this kid?  
Bob: (shrugs)  
Jay: Pot isn't drugs.  
Kid: Fuck you! ( kicks Jay and runs away)  
Jay: AHHHH! ( falls to the ground in pain)  
Bob: He kiss his mom with that mouth?  
Jay: Yea, I kno..... (double takes and stares at Bob)  
Bob: (looks at Jay as if saying "what?")  
  
That's the end of chapter 1. Please read 2 when it comes out 


	2. R2Bob 3Jay20

Jay and Silent Bob Smoke Europe Part Two  
  
I apologize for sitting on my ass and doing nothing while you people wait  
for me to update.  
  
Jay: Yeah man, you lazy cock smoker.  
  
Author: You're calling me lazy? What have you and Bob been doing since I  
posted last? (Jay looks at Bob, Bob shrugs)  
  
Jay: We've been doin' lots of shit.  
  
Author: Like...  
  
Jay: Like lots of honeys, you hear what I'm sayin' lunchbox.,(Bob nods)  
Snoogins.  
  
Author: Anyway, on with the show.  
  
(Randal walks out of the video store and locks up.)  
  
Randal: You guys are still out here huh?  
  
Jay: Hell yeah, what else would we be doin'.  
  
Randal: Oh I don't know maybe, get a job.  
  
Jay: Get a job, we got a job, we're the #1 dealers in Jersey.  
  
Randal: No you're not.  
  
Jay: Man! Get out of here! (Jay starts throwing punches in front of  
Randal's face)  
  
Randal: Whatever, see you later burn boy. (Randal walks into the Quick  
Stop.)  
  
Dante: Hey Randal. Jay and Bob still out there?  
  
Randal: Yeah, you'd think they wouldn't figure out that the restraining  
order was a fake.  
  
Dante: You wrote it in crayon.  
  
Randal: I know, it's scary how intelligent the common American is nowadays.  
I just realized something.  
  
Dante: What?  
  
Randal: Jay and Bob are like R2-D2 and CP-3P0.  
  
Dante: How?  
  
Randal: Okay, do you know how R2-D2 beeps and no one can understand what he  
says other than CP-3P0.  
  
Dante: And Luke,  
  
Randal: I'll get to that, anyway, CP-3P0 talks a lot, thus making him  
extremely annoying.  
  
Dante: Ah, Jay.  
  
Randal: Exactly, now R2-D2 is similar to Bob because, Bob makes facial  
expressions and body language only Jay or in this case "CP-3P0" can  
understand.  
  
Dante: What about Luke?  
  
Randal: I'm Luke  
  
Dante: Why?  
  
Randal: Because I'm really cool and would make a good candidate for a Jedi.  
  
This is the end of Chapter 2, please REVIEW!!!  
Thx for reading! 


	3. NO Coke?

Jay and Silent Bob Smoke Europe Part 3  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any View Askew characters at all... so umm....sorry.  
  
Jay: Man, what the fuck are you talking bout'?  
  
Author: Well, Kevin Smith made you and Silent Bob, and everyone else, and  
since he came up with such brilliant ideas why not give credit where  
credit's due?  
  
Jay: What are you talkin' bout' "made" me?  
  
Author: Nevermind, on with the show.  
  
Jay: Hey! Get back here you fucking cocksucker! I ain't done with you.  
  
(Jay and Silent Bob walk into the Quick Stop.)  
  
Jay: Hey, what have you snoogin boochies got anything to drink in here?  
  
Dante: (Reading a magazine) we're having a sale on Coke.  
  
Jay: Coke!? Shit, an' I thought you fuckers didn't have anything good in  
here!  
  
Dante: It's in the back. (Randal walks in)  
  
Randal: Hey, have you seen the stoner twins around?  
  
Dante: In the back.  
  
Randal: So, have you got the new  
Beasty Boys CD yet?  
  
Dante: Yeah, it's pretty go-  
  
Jay: What the fuck is this!? (Comes out with a Coke bottle.)  
  
Dante: What?  
  
Jay: This ain't Coke! It's soda!  
  
Randal: We don't sell that here burn boy. ( Bob takes bottle and pays for  
it.)  
  
Jay:.. and look at you tubby, you're buying this shit! (Bob opens the  
bottle and looks at the cap)  
  
Bob: Whoa!  
  
Jay: What? ( Takes cap.) OH SHIT LUNCHBOX! (starts hugging Bob and jumping  
up and down.) We won!  
  
Randal: Won what?  
  
Jay: A free trip to London! BONG!  
  
Randal: Have you even been on a plane?  
  
Jay: Of course I been on a plane!  
  
(Shows Jay and Bob on a plane, Jay is looking nervous.)  
  
Jay: Lunchbox! I've never been on a plane, GET, ME OFF THIS SON OF A BITCH!  
( a hot stewardess walks by) Well I might stay for a while, NAGGA NAGGA  
NOOCH!  
  
Thanks for reading, please review, you all rock!!!!! 


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